I was playing at X-Treme Tactical Paintball in Waxhaw this weekend (2-23-08) and learned a hard lesson of checking my equipment just before the game. Ow.

We were playing an ambush style game where our team was to hide anywhere in the field and the opposing team would search and destroy. Some interesting notes to this was that the (Rock Hill) Palmetto Hills Paintball field’s air compressor had broken down and a lot of their high pressure players had come to X-treme Tactical for the day. This included George, Tanner and the Palmetto Hills team, who I have played with quite a bit. I was on the opposing team today. If you read the Feb 16th post about Ambushes, you may have read about me hiding in a woodpile right at the entrance of the game and successfully crippling the enemy. George and his team weren’t there last week, so I felt sure they would never suspect this move. Invisible in my leafy guillie suit, I snuck up to the game entrance and buried myself in the woodpile. This may be a good time to mention I was running late to the game and it was just starting as I was getting my gear on. So I rushed into the game without testing my equipment and about half dressed.

The opposing team walked past me in my hide so close that I could have reached out and grabbed an ankle. I let them walk past enough to let them get into the 10-foot fair shot rule and then I stood up and aimed.

Time seemed to slow down. They were facing away from me and I had my choice of targets and could easily eliminate the WHOLE team. I planned my order of targets and pulled the trigger to hear…   click.

Click.               Nothing.                   Click. Click!Click!Click!              Nothing.  

My fancy-assed electronic Halo hopper wasn’t turned on.

The opposing team turned around and looked at me like “what is this clown doing?” They thought I was on their team and jerking around.  They stood there for what seemed like almost 30 seconds staring at me. Then it hit them. They realized who I was, what I was doing, and I was so close I could actually hear the collective “Oh shit!” under their breath. The next thing I know, I am in a  thunderstorm of paintballs.

In the second or two I had popped up, I went from envisioning being able to single-handedly taking out an entire, very tough team, to being covered in paint without firing a shot. My entire first game lasted less than 60 seconds.

Lessons learned:

• Always, always, always check your gear pre-game.
• Skip the next game if you are not 100% ready.
• Chrono-ing your gun not only safety checks your gun, but makes sure it works. 

The Definition of Irony:

The hooper that didn’t turn on… I had bought from George a few months earlier. When I mentioned that to him later, he asked me why I didn’t buy the remote control that went with it!?                                                      Smart-ass.